Pfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...It’s the only way that comes in mind to start this. At least the migraine is gone. Beautiful day.
Feeling: a lot of cleaning to do… And I never liked that. My dream is to have a maid who cleans everything. I like keeping it clean. But when it gets really dirty… But I guess that eventually I am stuck with…me. It’s a feeling like when you come back Home and it’s messy all around (but strangely, like it is still you who was there doing all that mess by not being present, at Home). You don’t know where to start. Even the thought of starting tires you and makes you not start. But it is that damn…conscious or I don’t know what is that doesn’t allows you to vegetate, to stay in a state of ‘ignorance’? And you start… And the more you do, more you discover not only that there is cleaning to do but also fixing! Shitty thing. It just makes you wanna leave the house and build a new one. But then again, it’s not a considered possibility. Moreover it, you know, you are aware that it is the same You who will do the same things and be the same as the one who leaves now. And you start cleaning. And fixing. And it tires you, drains you sometimes completely but it makes you fill good. DOING always makes you feel good even if DOING is not your strongest thing.
End on the day thought: less sometimes is more.
End of the day song: Waiting allnight – Rudimental ft. Ella Eyre
About not being home, inside, aware, responsible, speed. Taking all for granted because you’re the king of the world, unbeatable and great, young forever, immortal.
And what happens when you take things for granted? When you don’t think beyond the pleasure of the moment? Life gives you a little kick. Slows you down. Puts you down, forces you to rest, to take it cool. Sometimes really bad. If you’re under lucky star you see it before and you slow down by yourself. If you’re under a lucky star.
And then…it comes about waking up. Loosing. Suffering. Crying heart out. Cursing maybe? It’s always something or someone else to blame but you.
About hope. Awakening. And then, little by little, determination. Work. Work. Work. DOING. Searching for solutions. Trying. Falling. Failing. Getting up. Again and again. Until the right solution comes along.
And theeeen… It’s about people. You met or you knew before. Who know you and supported you and helped you get up, sited down next to you helping you.
In the end it’s about succeeding. It’s about victory. It’s about happiness. It’s about joy of living. Loving the living. But aware. And strong.
It’s all about love. In the end…it’s all about love.